Climbing exercise machine

A climbing exercise machine, comprising:

• a first triangular footing, configured to contact a floor or ground surface;
• a second triangular footing, configured to contact the floor or ground surface;
• a first elongate upright, wherein a first end of the first elongate upright is rigidly connected to the first triangular footing;
• a second elongate upright, laterally spaced apart from and substantially parallel to the first upright, wherein a first end of the second elongate upright is rigidly connected to the second triangular footing;
• an X-shaped crossbar, having a first arm and a second arm, each of the first and second arms having an upper end and a lower end, wherein the upper end of the first arm is rigidly connected to the first elongate upright at an upper connection point of the first elongate upright, the lower end of the first arm is rigidly connected to the second elongate upright at a lower connection point of the second elongate upright, the upper end of the second arm is rigidly connected to the second upright at an upper connection point of the second elongate upright, and the lower end of the second arm is rigidly connected to the first elongate upright at a lower connection point of the first elongate upright;
• a mounting arm, wherein a first end of the mounting arm is rigidly connected to an intersection point of the first and second arms of the X-shaped crossbar and a second end of the mounting arm extends upwardly away from the intersection point;
• a first handle, mounted on a first self-lubricating slide;
• a first foot pedal, mounted on a second self-lubricating slide;
• a second handle, mounted on a third self-lubricating slide;
• and
• a second foot pedal, mounted on a fourth self-lubricating slide.